The predicted hurricane this past weekend was more of just a really rainy day so we made the best of it and went looking for mud to play in. While searching for the perfect mud puddle we came across a group of kids who set up a huge slip n slide. They invited us to join in and we ended up having the time of our lives. By the end of the hour we bonded over mud fights and good laughs. Makes me feel so good when people are welcoming and willing to embrace a new experience with an open heart.
I’m still sitting in my room… sixteen hours later and I really haven’t moved. It’s hard to move. It hurts. My head hurts from all the crying. I lost yesterday. I wasn’t beat… I lost. I took myself out of it. I had a moment. Multiple moments in thirty minutes to make something happen and I fell apart. I’ve been surfing the best I’ve ever surfed in my life. Just yesterday morning I had an incredible warm-up before the comp… feeling unbeatable. But then… for some reason I let myself fall into mush before the heat. Second guessing myself, over thinking… I tried to take a walk down the beach to relieve some of the pressure, listen to good music to take my mind off of things, visualize a positive outcome… The waves were beautiful. I had every opportunity to succeed. Everything I needed to turn this so called “slump” I’m in around. In sport there are always those moments you work so hard for. Those moments that you either make or break it. It gives you chills to hear about the moments when the athlete steps up to the plate and makes something magical happen. But there are also those moments when they just don’t. It’s heartbreaking. Especially when all I had to do was believe in myself, have fun and surf from my heart. I put so much pressure on myself but why? For what? If this is the outcome, it shouldn’t even be a question. I’m most upset because I did this to myself… It is what it is. It happened. I can’t go back and change it. I can’t keep sitting here and dwell over it. I got to get up. I know I won’t get over it in a day, or even in a few. It’s gonna sting for awhile but there is only one way to go. Giving up isn’t an option. So what… I lost the yellow jersey for a little while. Who really cares? I’ve got so many positive things going for me and wonderful people who love and care about me. Let it go. It’s one heat. It’s all gonna be okay.
I always say this but time really seems to be going by faster and faster. I’m already 22 and a day, summer is coming to an end, there are only four events left on tour…before you know it, it’s Christmas! AHHH! Trying to enjoy every moment as much as I possibly can. Life has been pretty awesome. I had a great birthday yesterday. I ate a lot of food, Luke taught me how to drive stick, was lazy and took a nice nap, surfed and spent time with my family. Pretty ordinary day but extraordinary at the same time. I’m so lucky that my everyday is awesome and that I don’t need much more to be happy and completely satisfied. Went out to dinner with my mom last night and she organized with the restaurant to have gifts delivered to me throughout dinner. First was a crown, then shiny earrings, a crazy necklace, bracelet and ring. Each of the waiters presented them by saying, “a gift for the princess.” It was the sweetest thing. I felt so spoiled and special the entire night. My mom is the best<3
Rewind to US Open… wasn't all that stoked with my result. Actually I was quite disappointed. I never felt like I really clicked with the rhythm of the waves that entire week. Fifth place finish...at least I got to wear a few crazy hats before I was out. Urgh… that's the way it goes sometimes. Overall I had a great time. My dad, sister and Luke came so it was a family affair. It was great to have Cayla up bright and early and practicing with me in the mornings before the contest. Luke bought his dream car while we were in town, a VW bus. It's in need of a little TLC but is so rad! I love it! Got inducted into the Surfer's Hall of Fame… that was pretty special. I feel like it was a bit early in my career for something like that but am so thankful that people see the potential in me. Sure means a lot. After the comp, Luke and I drove up to San Francisco to visit some of his family and got to squeeze in a Beyonce/Jay-Z concert!!! They were fantastic! Beyonce radiates confidence, strength and power. What a role model….
One more week till I leave for Trestles and Europe. I'm really looking forward to the next couple events. Everything is getting very exciting. Have a beautiful day!! Xx,