January 18, 2012 - by Carissa Moore

Year of Honesty

You know something is up when I start blogging more than once a week. So I went back to the doc yesterday and was officially diagnosed with a fun case of STAPH! Yeeehawww. Not the best news in the world but at least we know what it is and can start fixing it. I am trying not to stress out about it, just trying to take it for what it is and make the best of the situation. Luckily this far in my career I haven’t experienced many injuries or illnesses that have kept me out of the water for long periods of time. Knock knock on wood. This week has gotten me to sympathize with those who have tho. Being an athlete and living an extremely active lifestyle it’s the hardest thing to be restricted to minimal physical activity and bed rest. Somewhat depressing. I suddenly have so much time on my hands to think and overanalyze. If you haven’t realized by now from reading all my blogs I struggle with dealing with my emotions at times. Stress, loneliness, excitement, depression, extreme happiness. I am all over the place. I want things to be perfect, I want to be the best so I am always worrying, I don’t just chill and relax. It’s really hard for me. I just have so much energy and thoughts that I need an outlet or I start to self destruct. Eating becomes a bad habit of mine or it has in the past. I’m really trying to not let myself go there this time. It’s just easy and makes me feel good. It fills that emptiness. Surfing has always been there for me as an outlet but sometimes it’s not enough. Despite having a world title I deal with these feelings and it is one of the most challenging things for me. It’s weird, you would think I have everything together but I don’t. Sometimes I feel people expect me to be a certain way and make like everything is “picture perfect” but it isn’t. I’m just being honest. It’s the year of honesty, that’s the word I chose for 2012. To live my life with my heart on my sleeve and to be more honest with myself and others. On a happier note, I feel really loved at the moment, wink wink;) He just left for school again but I don’t know, I have faith it’s going to work out this time. I have been listening to the song Ass Back Home by Gym Class Heros on repeat. Check it out!!