Hallelujah! I am back in the water finally. I haven’t stopped smiling from ear to ear since I put my toe in the water four days ago. I didn’t realize how much I missed the ocean and how depressed I had been until I paddled out to Backdoor. It was pretty much 4-5 foot perfection, sunny, glassy, and not that crowded. I paddled out and just sat in the lineup for awhile soaking it all in. Feeling the water move, the liquid on my skin, the taste of salt on my lips, watching blue barrels form in slow motion… it’s that feeling of connecting with nature and having the rest of the world melt away that I believe is so addicting, so freeing, so blissful. This love for the ocean and this feeling is a universal connection that all surfers have. I was restricted to forty five minutes but I could have stayed out all day. On the car ride home, I cried for a solid twenty minutes because I was just so happy to be back in the water. I had an epiphany that day. One that I would not have come to if I didn’t get sick for two weeks. Everything happens for a reason right? I just realized that the way the ocean and surfing makes me feel is like nothing else in the world. I am so lucky to be a surfer and I want to do this for years to come. I want to take care of my body, my health so that I can continue to do what I love. Sometimes I take for granted what I have and get lost in routine and going thru the motions. The things that I want to do then become things I have to do and I lose touch with how amazing surfing is. I am excited to be back in the water with a renewed passion for my sport. See…a little bump in the road can be good.

This one pretty much says it all:) been on repeat for past week… and don’t think I’m stopping anytime soon haha

You know something is up when I start blogging more than once a week. So I went back to the doc yesterday and was officially diagnosed with a fun case of STAPH! Yeeehawww. Not the best news in the world but at least we know what it is and can start fixing it. I am trying not to stress out about it, just trying to take it for what it is and make the best of the situation. Luckily this far in my career I haven’t experienced many injuries or illnesses that have kept me out of the water for long periods of time. Knock knock on wood. This week has gotten me to sympathize with those who have tho. Being an athlete and living an extremely active lifestyle it’s the hardest thing to be restricted to minimal physical activity and bed rest. Somewhat depressing. I suddenly have so much time on my hands to think and overanalyze. If you haven’t realized by now from reading all my blogs I struggle with dealing with my emotions at times. Stress, loneliness, excitement, depression, extreme happiness. I am all over the place. I want things to be perfect, I want to be the best so I am always worrying, I don’t just chill and relax. It’s really hard for me. I just have so much energy and thoughts that I need an outlet or I start to self destruct. Eating becomes a bad habit of mine or it has in the past. I’m really trying to not let myself go there this time. It’s just easy and makes me feel good. It fills that emptiness. Surfing has always been there for me as an outlet but sometimes it’s not enough. Despite having a world title I deal with these feelings and it is one of the most challenging things for me. It’s weird, you would think I have everything together but I don’t. Sometimes I feel people expect me to be a certain way and make like everything is “picture perfect” but it isn’t. I’m just being honest. It’s the year of honesty, that’s the word I chose for 2012. To live my life with my heart on my sleeve and to be more honest with myself and others. On a happier note, I feel really loved at the moment, wink wink;) He just left for school again but I don’t know, I have faith it’s going to work out this time. I have been listening to the song Ass Back Home by Gym Class Heros on repeat. Check it out!!

So do I have a story for you… I recently had the best and worst trip ever. It all started when I decided to enjoy the sunset at the beach before boarding my flight last thursday evening. I was lying in the sand when a swarm of sand fleas attacked my under arm. It itched like crazy but I didn’t think much of it. Three days into my trip one of the bites grew bigger and more painful so I went to see a doctor. They gave me some meds that I ended up having an allergic reaction to. I got the fever and chills and a burning rash all over my body. I was out of the water for the last two days. On the way home I got sick again so I checked into the ER in LA. There I got an IV and they cut open my infection to release some of the pressure. Disgusting!!! I made it home the next day, went to another doctor, and he cut it open some more to drain. So gross! I am small kine losing my mind. I am waiting for tomorrow to hopefully be released back in the ocean. In the meantime I have been watching TV, hanging with friends, cleaning house, biking, walking, pretending to be a photog, and catching up with emails and phone calls that I have been neglecting for sometime now. I have to say getting sick was worth it tho. I got barreled out of my mind the first three days of the trip, doing step offs into perfect 4-5 foot sand bottom barrels. No better feeling in the world.